The other day an 8 year-old called me fat, no offense. Yes, he actually followed it up with no offense. None taken kiddo, none take at all. 

People, let me tell you the reason that both parties in a household need jobs is because if you don’t - you will get on each others nerves. We are about a month into No Job 2008 © and while things are okay, things are decidedly not okay.

I need to tell you that I tell my husband to shut up no less than 37 times a day, and I have the art of eye rolling down to sheer perfection. It’s not that I don’t want him to talk, I just want him to talk less. And really - is it asking too much that you do something about the staggering amounts of laundry everywhere and maybe wash those dishes? I mean, I know life is hard - but cut me some slack.

I’m not pretending that I’m a perfect wife, or a good one really - but, GOOD GRIEF MAN! I want you to know my husband internet so you can understand where this rage and lack of coping skills come from. There is no one on earth more capable of making me want to hurl myself down a flight of stairs than my husband. What can I say? We are in love.

I recognize that I’m lucky and trust me, I remind myself of that every single day - but right now I’m feeling like I need a vacation. And not a vacation from work, but a vacation from my marriage of perpetual insanity. I know that things will get better eventually, but right now I’m having to practice getting zen and trying not to say anything that I will regret the instant it leaves my lips. It’s hard, but I’m working on it.

Other than that, I’m here. I exist. I am not dead.

I think I need a snack. And a nap. I am feeling the urge to complain but there is nothing that I really need to actively complain about. Oh, I still don’t know where I’m moving to in 3 weeks - but those are just the minor details, no? I feel like I’m on the edge and I’m suppressing the urge to scream very loudly, but no words would come out anyway, so what would be the point?  Sharp subject change because this post is getting emo and I don’t want to be that person.

In between watching multiple episodes of The First 48, I have been socializing with actual human beings. On Wednesday I met Tyler (below, on left) in person after having known him online since 2001 and living in the same general area for 4 years, we both obviously like to draw things out. Dear Tyler, I am very sad we didn’t hang out sooner because I kind of love your guts.

Yesterday, I tricked my husband into a mall trip but then he tricked me by abandoning me and wasting his life space in one of those As Seen On TV stores. As if that were more compelling than watching me try on the same tank top in multiple shades, and are these jeans too tight? Later, I had an afternoon playdate with my new friend (that sounds so fischer-price) Brandon (above, right), and after lunch I got hornswoggled into an H&M store which is - indescribable with actual words. I could maybe act out how it made me feel with facial expressions, but that would be far too much work and I’m already angst-ridden as it is.

Today and tomorrow I’m chained to my desk and acting super mopey because I’m having a fight with someone I care about a lot and if you guys could just see my chat logs with Amy, it is possible you would think I am crazy, or stupid. Or both. 

I know that being kind to the Earth has gotten to be kind of a trend/fad these days, but not all trends/fads go the way of say - Hammer pants. And at least as far as the environment goes, I think it’s nice to see people carrying their own shopping bags and touting the benefits of farmer’s markets. Plus, if it’s good for you - does it really matter if it’s trendy?

Still, having said that - trying to live with a conscience is hard. Really hard. In more than a few ways, my level of conscienceness about the products I buy and the food that I eat is directly related to how much money I have, or rather - don’t have. Case in point, the bar of soap pictured above cost me $6.99, which is slightly absurd I know. I know. And the body wash below was $12.99. When I paid for them I thought to myself, I have got to be crazy and maybe I am a little. But do you see the packaging? How could I say no? Plus, I get to lay down at night, smelling like Italian white sage - does your soap do that?

It wasn’t just the packaging though, although I admit that I am a sucker for things that are packaged nicely, but when I read the Pangea Organics website, I thought - well that’s kind of nice that they’re doing that and I figured I might try some of their stuff to see if I like it or if I’m allergic to things that are good for you. And by allergic I mean resistant, because it’s hard to change the things that we are so accustomed to in our day to day.

And I’m sure there are other organic soaps that work just as effectively and cost less, but I have 29 years of conditioning with regard to fragrance and foam and how that equates to cleanliness, so I need my products to be pretty, functional and make me want to sing in the shower. And for $6.99, it should probably lather and rinse me, but that might be asking too much?

I’m not some tree-hugging, patchouli-oil wearing hippie and I know that there are people who believe that organic living is a a bunch of malarkey, and listen - I have my lines. They are not exactly finite, but they exist all the same. I’m not going to stop eating meat, or try to convert people into believing that what I’m doing is the only way to live - but I do feel like on some level, albeit a very small level, I’m doing my part and it makes me feel good inside.

Soap and body wash come in an array of delicious scents from Pangea Organics, but can be purchased at World Market & Whole Foods as well.